In the previous article, we discussed the first dysfunction of a team – the absence of trust. It’s the essential dysfunction which builds the foundation for other ones. How the absence of trust leads to other kinds of unproductive and sometimes toxic behaviour in a team? The next step in the ladder of “The five dysfunctions of a team” is fear of conflict. Until there is no trust in a team, the team will not be ready to be engaged in constructive debate and express their opinions. As a result, there is a possibility that the team didn’t consider all options and didn’t come with the best solution.
Healthy and not healthy conflict
First, let’s start from the concept of the conflict itself. We should separate conflict from personal attacks, fights and political games. Instead, we should consider conflict as a constructive and ideological discussion. The main characteristic of healthy conflict is that it’s limited to ideas and concepts and never is personal-focused.
It sounds excellent, so why one can try to avoid those constructive conflicts? Since there is no trust in the team, people can be afraid to openly express their opinions, disagreements and can be not sure how the other side will take it. Also, people can try to preserve energy by not engaging in long discussions. Another reason can be a cultural difference. Here I would like to make a reference to “The culture map” written by Rein Meyer, which is revealing this aspect of work. In some cultures, arguing even about abstract ideas openly in front of others will be perceived as a personal attack. How to deal with it when you are working in a multicultural team we will consider a bit later.
Symptoms of fear of conflict in the tech team
You can recognise fear of conflict in the team by artificial harmony, or/and presence of personal attacks and politics. In tech culture in a team with the absence or lack of trust, people will show the following behaviour or attitude:
- boring meetings
- avoidance of questioning passed decisions or requirements, no “why” questions
- no discussions of controversial topics, no debates around architecture, best practices, etc.
- time waste on a lot of meetings to discuss the same topic (means that not everyone had bought-in and expressed their opinions)
- not everyone is listened and asked for an opinion
Outcomes of fear of conflict in the tech team
Why the fear of conflict can be dangerous and why artificial harmony can be not that beneficial? When people have unresolved or unspoken frustrations and disagreements, it can lead to:
- their energy will be sucked by inner frustrations and back-channel personal attacks
- time-wasting on discussing issues over and over again instead of resolving it in one time
- not the best possible solution is chosen, as not everyone’s opinion was expressed and listened to
- unhealthy personal conflicts
- decreased personal motivation
- failed projects
Dealing with fear of conflict in the tech team
Even healthy conflict can include passion, emotions and frustrations. And even after a long time, conflict still can be uncomfortable. But by practising healthy conflicts, we can build resilience. So how we can embrace healthy conflicts in the team? The author of The five dysfunctions is providing the following tools.
Mining
One of the options is to have a facilitator, “miner” in the team, who will observe the team and will help them extract hidden disagreements and guide the team through working on them until the conflict is resolved.
Real-Time Permission
Another option, which the team can use in addition to having a dedicated “miner”, is that team will agree to coach each other not to escape from every debate. Every time one member of a team recognises, that team is escaping uncomfortable debates, this member can call out and encourage the team to continue. The task here is to remind teammates about the importance of such discussions and not allow the team to follow the old pattern.
The Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI)
By using such tools like the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI), every team member can learn about personal patters of themselves and each other in terms of their conflict modes. And also understand how this behaviour can be adjusted in different situations.
Cultural difference in conflict perception
Every culture perceives debates, disagreements and conflict in a different way. In some cultures, open debate is welcomed and appreciated. In others, it can mean the personal attack and even loss of face and reputation. Knowing this difference can help us to address the conflict topic in the multicultural team efficiently, as just applying tools from above can be not enough.
Below I’m providing the disagreeing scale from “The culture map” book. In confrontational cultures, people decouple disagreement with the idea from disapproving of them personally. On the contrary, in avoid-confrontation cultures, these two things are tightly interconnected.
Disagreeing in the multicultural team
Trying to change people can be not the best approach. Sometimes just understanding the difference and adjusting to it can be more beneficial. In case you are working in a different cultural environment, or you have a large percentage of people from non-confrontational cultures in your team, you may want to try to apply the following practices:
- if you are the manager, try to skip the meeting. In some cultures, disagreeing with the boss is unacceptable. So just by not being present there, you will boost a proper discussion;
- depersonalise disagreements by separating ideas from people. For example, anonymous brainstorming technique can work for this purpose;
- conduct meetings before the meetings. Let people gather and have their discussions before bringing them to the final meeting where the decision should be made;
- adjust your language to use more downgraders and fewer upgraders while disagreeing. So instead of “I am absolutely sure that this approach will not work”, you can say “Maybe we could consider other options if you don’t mind”. On the contrary, if you are in a more confrontational environment, don’t take the risk of copying this behaviour, it can be dangerous.
As we can see, conflict can be not that scary and even productive and beneficial for the team. What fear of conflict can bring to the team will be described in the following articles. Stay tuned.